Power Up Your SPIRIT
“Remember this, my dear friends! Everyone must be quick to listen but slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
James 1:19 GNT
To listen is to not just hear the words spoken to you, but also heed what is being said. It means learning from the advice you’re given.
We may think being slow to speak is to count 1 to 10 before responding, but it also means processing our thoughts before letting anything out. Sometimes this action changes what we eventually say.
Being slow to anger gives room for mercy and compassion to play out in a situation that should have led to strife.
The phrase, “delay isn’t denial” holds true here. Sometimes we feel that being told to delay our response denies our ego its instant gratification. But it gives us something improved that we would be more grateful for.
Our personalities often get in the way of being slow to react. But when you have the Holy Spirit and he tells you to keep quiet, that instruction is usually so loud, you can’t ignore it.
Remember, we are controlled by the spirit and not the flesh.
Hack Your BODY
How can we listen more and delay our reactions at work?
Growing up, I had much anger in my heart, making it a weakness. I was quick to respond and get angry at the slightest provocation.
I still get angry, but it is more controlled. A lady I worked with once told me she was still waiting for the day I’d get angry because, after 3 years of working together, she didn’t know what anger looked like on me. I laughed because I knew my struggles.
I’ve tried breathing techniques, counting to ten and other tactics that really didn’t work for me. But here’s a framework that encompasses how to make the anchor scripture work.
Use the ACT framework.
A – Attention: This helps you listen to what the person is saying whether it makes sense to you or not. It helps delay your response time. To be attentive is to look at the person’s face, nod, observe their body language (even if you don’t know how to read it), and pick out one thing they said that will form the foundation of your conversation.
On the flip side, you can also divert attention if you realise what you’re listening to is building up agitation in you. You can ask to use the restroom or request to get back to the conversation later, depending on who you’re listening to.
C – Conversation: This is when you speak. You take something from what you heard and create a conversation from it. This conversation can be had at once after you’re done listening, or later if necessary.
T – Time: Make time your friend. Time flies when you follow the two steps above. When this happens, the urge to respond in anger almost disappears, unless the conversation becomes a toxic argument and you lose all sense of control.
By forcing yourself to pay attention to what the other person is saying, you allow thoughts to roam in your mind. That delay allows a small space of time for the Holy Spirit to speak to you and change your reaction.
The possibility of the resulting conversation being wholesome becomes high. This framework has worked for me whenever I commit to applying it. I’ve never really liked my reactions for those times I didn’t apply it.
Grow Your SOUL
“An upcoming event or situation that might stress me out if I don’t prepare well or remind myself to be intentional and in control of my thoughts and feelings is…”
(source: GrowthDay)
Defining how we would ACT before certain events occur gives us foresight and some control over when it eventually occurs. We may still have some involuntary responses. But the role-play you’ve done in your mind always kicks in and stops you.
Use this question to win today.
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