Use Anger As A Tool To Become Better

“Refrain from anger…it leads only to evil.” Psalms 37:8 NIV

How possible is it to be angry and not sin? I should be able to throw everything around, scatter the office, curse my team, complain about the issue, and just vent until my heart stops racing. That’s a lot of sinful acts, but it’s the reality for some of us.

For a season of my life, this was my constant state of mind. Some Monday morning meetings were full of sharp responses and weekdays came with an avalanche of outbursts. It was a nightmare. Even my wife knew the names of some team members by listening to me talk over the phone.

But I have since discovered that anger is simply an emotion – a combination of substances flowing through my body that only serve as a signal and nothing more. Like other emotions, feeling angry is a sign that you’re upset about something and should pause to reflect on it so you can determine your reaction. But how many of us have complete control over our emotions? Do you?

Research shows that we can control our response to emotion, but it requires intentional effort and practice because our emotional responses are driven by unconscious processes. In other words, your reaction to anger is driven by subconscious programming. Nothing says that is how you must react.

So how can you fix this? I’ve found a few strategies that help:

1. Reframe the meaning of the situation. When someone doesn’t do something that I requested, instead of saying he’s just not attentive and seeing him as weak, I change it to “perhaps I didn’t brief it in well, try again”.

2. Meditate at the start of your day. When the scripture says you should study and meditate on the Word of God daily, you may say it’s because God thinks you’re jobless. On the contrary, it defines how you play your game throughout your day. Read a part of the scripture, say affirmations, and speak to your day.

3. Move your body. I used to think that working out in the morning was only for physical fitness. Wrong. I’ve noticed that it boosts willpower. If I can bring myself to work out and sweat early in the morning, I gain more control over my mind during the day and can bring myself to do anything, including calming down when agitated.

So, the next time something pisses you off and you go crazy immediately, it’s a signal that you didn’t do any of the three strategies above that day. Nothing wrong with that. Don’t beat yourself up. Could you do better tomorrow?

Today’s Task: Make a firm decision to do at least one of the three strategies above. This will influence how you work with others today.

Do you know other strategies that help regulate anger during the day? Please let me know in the comments.

Know a leader or team member who has a short fuse? Share this with them.