“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6 NIV
“I’m blunt and I say it as it is” is the reason why many relationships have crumbled and doors shut against people.
Sometimes when we don’t agree with what someone else is saying, we go crazy on them and forget all home training. I’ve done this several times, giving people a piece of my mind and getting temporary satisfaction, only to feel worse afterwards.
One key thing we must always remember is to preserve our identity as believers. This means ensuring we don’t intentionally give people reasons to discredit our faith. One easy way to do that is from the words we speak.
Salt preserves. It also sweetens. To season our words with salt is to:
- Preserve the hope we have
- Preserve the relationships we have so we don’t close the door to future opportunities to share the gospel
- Become better people because of our words
- Make our relationships better so that people thank God for our presence in their lives
To successfully do this, we need checks and balances and that’s why the Holy Spirit is there to help us.
He can caution us just when we’re about to throw away the salt and let ego reign. He can put a stopper when we’re about to add so much salt that we may begin to look like sweet talkers or liars.
This is the wisdom we need daily and we have been empowered with this wisdom. So every time you open your mouth to speak, remember that you’re the salt of the earth.
How can we filter our speech with those we work with, even when it looks impossible?
For negative situations that involve conflict, this can be difficult.
Sometimes, I actually “put the Holy Spirit aside” and give people a piece of my mind. Then I probably regret it later. This is usually unfiltered.
Sometimes, instead of addressing issues of conflict immediately, I vent in a notepad on my smartphone. I just write my heart out about how I feel, unfiltered. Then when speaking with the person, I can filter my words.
Other times, I stay calm and wait till the other person has a clearer head before revisiting the issue. This is when my words are most filtered.
For situations that involve criticism, especially if you’re the leader, you simply need to determine what your goal is.
Sometimes when I see an employee intentionally not carry out a key task at hand and then cause a lag in deliverables for others, I feel my heart racing and I take that as a signal that I’m angry.
But experience has taught me that the last thing to do is reach out to the person immediately. It’s a recipe for disaster. My next step is usually to answer one question:
“What goal do you want to achieve and what kind of person do you want to be when you address this situation?”
Answering this question stops me in my tracks in every situation, including those at the home front.
It’s critical to find a stopper that works for you; something that feels like a knock on the head so you come back to your senses before you do something stupid.
In some situations, we will hear the Holy Spirit caution us. But when He doesn’t, it’s a cue for us to build discipline and grow.
“For me to speak with more grace, I must…”
Having the fruit of the Spirit is the best hack to this. When you combine patience, with love, self-control and the other parts of the fruit, your goodwill overflows.
Perhaps this is a tip you can build on. Let Galatians 5 guide how you answer this.
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