“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 NKJV
It’s more gratifying to give the offending party a piece of our mind when they perform below your expectation instead of trying to be the bigger person and speak softly. To you, it makes you look weak. Instead, speaking softly shows you have better control over your reactions. But how easy is that?
I once led a department of volunteers in an organisation and one laid down rule was, “no texting or social media during programs”. A lady on the team regularly violated this rule and, on this day, I had enough.
During a review meeting after the program, I raised the issue and cautioned her. She retorted and I at once went crazy. I could not understand why someone would try to validate an act that was clearly wrong.
I walked out of the meeting room and my agitation grew as I continued to hear her remarks. Eventually, from the other end of the auditorium, the anger in me reached its limits and I screamed a suspension order in the hearing of everyone present.
She could not believe I could react in anger at her that way and burst into tears, escalating the issue to the manager.
For days, I didn’t feel bad. But then the Holy Spirit started showing me where I was wrong and how I ought to have reacted differently. She may have been wrong, but I didn’t need to be wrong too.
The next time we had a program, I called into the meeting room everyone who was present in the auditorium on the day of the incident and heard my outburst. I then apologised openly to her. It was not an easy task, but it could have been avoided.
Now, there are three things I do:
- I don’t address the situation while still feeling the emotion. The emotion might linger in me for a while, but this has saved me.
- I bring it up as part of another conversation. It’s never the sole purpose of a meeting. This doesn’t stop me from addressing the issue as an important one, but it reduces the effect on both parties.
- I separate the issue from the person. As a perfectionist, it’s easy to magnify the imperfection in others and write them off because of something they did. The lady in the story had such a good heart, so calling her an irresponsible and bad person just because of one act will be unnecessary.
Doing these steps makes it easier to speak more pleasantly. Sometimes I catch myself trying to be soft with furrowed brows and I just laugh at how my facial expression contradicts my words.
Anger is not an evil emotion. It’s only a signal telling you to decide how you should react.
How do you handle your emotions when angry at a colleague or friend? Please share with me, I need more tips for my arsenal.
Today’s Task: Do you need to apologise to someone for speaking harshly? Today is a good day to do it.
Answer This…
“I can make today even better if I …”
It can be anything. Starting the day with intention keeps you focused.
Source: I get these growth prompts from my digital journal – GrowthDay.
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